SHIPPING & SANCTUM PROTOCOLS

Hark, Initiate.
You’re not buying a mass-produced widget.You’re acquiring a curated artifact from our coven’s private stash. Please, tune your audio and focus your orbs before you commit.

THE SPELL OF SHIPPING:
Once your order is ritualistically confirmed,we begin preparing your artifact for its journey. Shipping times are estimates, not promises carved in stone. We’re not the Man; we can’t control the postal spirits. We’ll provide a tracking number so you can follow its pilgrimage to your pad.

THE LAW OF THE SANCTUM (Returns, Exchanges & Refunds):
All sales are final.We do not offer refunds, returns, or exchanges.

· Why? The artifacts we ship are the exact ones you see and order. We’re not a Pucker Palace with endless stock.
· What if my item is slated for Crashville? If your order arrives jungled up, defected, or not as described, you must contact our coven within 3 days of delivery at babelfishpress@gmail.com. Provide your order details and a flick of the issue. We’ll noodle out a replacement if we have one, or a solution that doesn’t leave you dixie-fried.
· What if I gave you the wrong pad address? You must focus your audio and provide the correct info at the time of order. We are not liable for incorrect addresses provided by you.

By partaking in our rituals, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.

This policy is part of the oath.