Description
Jiggly, iridescent slime putty fun!
THE STUFF EARTHIES ARE MADE OF, KID!
GRIMALDI’S PRIMORDIAL STEW (JIGGLY, IRIDESCENT PUTTY FUN!)
Ever wonder how you miserable little carbon units actually got started? Gather ’round, Earthies.
Eons ago, before your ancestors even figured out how to crawl out of the muck, I was just passing through this pathetic little rock. I flicked a cigar butt out of my ship’s airlock, and boom—sparked the whole primordial ooze into evolving into you. You’re welcome. (And frankly, I’m still waiting for an apology for the mess you’ve made).
Now, you can hold the building blocks of Earthie-ism in your own squishy, flesh-bound hands! Grimaldi’s Primordial Stew is the ultimate jiggly, iridescent, amino-infused putty fun. It’s 100% Globulous! Stretch it, squish it, or roll it into a tiny, vaguely disappointing replica of your own species.
THE SPECS:
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100% Globulous: The perfect non-Newtonian putty for fidgeting, stress relief, or plotting the extinction of the human race.
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Iridescent Goo: Looks exactly like the radioactive sludge that spawned humanity.
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The Ultimate Deal: It’s the building blocks of life for only $2.99!
WARNING: May cause spontaneous evolution, existential dread, or an insatiable craving for cheap cigars.
GET YOUR GLOBULOUS, AMINO-INFUSED GOO TODAY!
AS FEATURED IN THE RONDO-NOMINATED SPACE MONSTERS!
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