Description
Grimaldi’s Primordial Stew: Jiggly, Iridescent Play Putty Fun!
Jiggly, iridescent slime putty fun!
THE STUFF EARTHIES ARE MADE OF, KID!
GRIMALDI’S PRIMORDIAL STEW (JIGGLY, IRIDESCENT PUTTY FUN!)
Ever wonder how you miserable little carbon units actually got started? Gather ’round, Earthies.
Eons ago, before your ancestors even figured out how to crawl out of the muck, I was just passing through this pathetic little rock. I flicked a cigar butt out of my ship’s airlock, and boom—sparked the whole primordial ooze into evolving into you. You’re welcome. (And frankly, I’m still waiting for an apology for the mess you’ve made).
Now, you can hold the building blocks of Earthie-ism in your own squishy, flesh-bound hands! Grimaldi’s Primordial Stew is the ultimate jiggly, iridescent, amino-infused putty fun. It’s 100% Globulous! Stretch it, squish it, or roll it into a tiny, vaguely disappointing replica of your own species.
THE SPECS:
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100% Globulous: The perfect non-Newtonian putty for fidgeting, stress relief, or plotting the extinction of the human race.
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Iridescent Goo: Looks exactly like the radioactive sludge that spawned humanity.
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The Ultimate Deal: It’s the building blocks of life for only $2.99!
WARNING: May cause spontaneous evolution, existential dread, or an insatiable craving for cheap cigars.
GET YOUR GLOBULOUS, AMINO-INFUSED GOO TODAY!
AS FEATURED IN THE RONDO-NOMINATED SPACE MONSTERS!
What is Play Putty?
If you’re expecting messy, sticky slime or old-school Silly Putty that picks up newspaper ink, think again. This is a premium, non-sticky, stretchy play putty. It holds its shape, it bounces, it stretches, and it doesn’t leave a mess on your hands or your desk. It’s the perfect fidget toy for aspiring mad scientists.
The Lore of the Primordial Ooze:
In the Space Monsters universe, Grimaldi is responsible for the messy state of the human race. Eons ago, he flicked a lit cigar butt out of his airlock, and it ignited the primordial ooze, sparking the evolution of the Earthies.
This jar of Primordial Stew is a safe, contained sample of that same cosmic goo. It’s 100% globulous, non-Newtonian putty that reacts to your touch. Stretch it, squish it, or roll it into a tiny, vaguely disappointing replica of your own species.
Perfect for:
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Stress Relief: The perfect fidget putty for plotting the extinction of the human race.
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Monster Kids: Own a piece of the Space Monsters universe.
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Gag Gifts: May cause spontaneous evolution, existential dread, or a craving for cheap cigars.
Get your globulous, amino-infused goo today!
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